Grief Coaching

“The grieving IS the healing.”

It’s true. Grief is the process of integrating great loss. It hurts like hell, even as it is vital to our survival.

How do you know if it’s grief or depression? One is a healthy, normal physiological and emotional process. The other is a problem that needs and deserves qualified mental health support. The symptoms can look identical from the outside.

Tearfulness? Check. Exhaustion? Check. Brain fog? Check. Morbid thoughts? Check. Physical pain? Check. Weird sleep? Check. Appetite and weight changes? Check. Shame spiral and obsessive thoughts of past choices? Check. Worrying compulsively about future catastrophes? Check. Loss of interest in what used to please you? Of course!

If your beloved died, especially a shocking, out-of-order death, you might check all these boxes for a long time and still be perfectly healthy. So how do you know what help you need?

Grief moves and depression sinks.

As a coach, I am not qualified to diagnose or treat depression. As a bereaved mom, though, I can tell you the difference as I feel it in my body: Grief moves. Depression sinks.

Feel for it. How does it feel in your body? Does it crash over you like the waves on a stormy sea? Does it feel that it might sweep you away? Does it churn in your body like a hurricane or rise and fall like the tides on the ocean?

Or does it sink deeper and number, deeper and number, until all is very dark, very still, and there’s nothing left to feel at all?

The storm is the grief. The depths of numbness are depression.

Somatic coaching is profoundly helpful for grief, but it is not a treatment for depression. I work with plenty of people who have additional mental health support for anxiety, depression, or PTSD alongside their coaching. If you need mental healthcare, then I can help you find a psychologist.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by the storm of grief, I am here, and I can accompany you through the waves and the weather and help you find the other side.

A note from a client’s psychologist on the power of combining mental healthcare and coaching:

Some seek help at an early stage of grief.

After days of absent appetite in early grief, I led my freshly bereaved client, Jen, in a somatic process to settle her nervous system. QUOTE:

Kate: “How do you feel?”
Client: “HUNGRY”

If you come to me in early grief, the plan will be nervous system triage. We don’t need to look for shadows when engulfed by darkness. We’ll stay where you are, contain, soothe, and nourish. We’ll calm your body so that your appetite can regulate and so that you can sleep a little deeper. We’ll contextualize your nightmares so that falling asleep doesn’t scare you.

We will reinforce your relationships. I’ll teach you how to ask for what you need so that your loved ones feel it as a gift and so that you can accept the help provided. We’ll move your body softly and hold any postpartum discomforts you might be experiencing with care. And you can say anything that needs saying but is too hard to speak to the uninitiated.

Having a coach who has been there makes all the difference. I can normalize a lot for you so you know you’re not alone, no matter how broken you feel. I will teach you how to use your body to move you from unbearable pain to somewhere gentler. Coaching softens your survival process.

Some come to me in middle-stage grief.

“Kate is so good with grief and shadow work. Also, reclamation of feminine power and dissolving unconscious patriarchal programming from the medical world and conditioning.”
– Rael, a client who approached this work in mid-stage grief

In middle-stage grief, your nervous system is more regulated. Crying doesn’t feel as out of control as it did at first, and you’ve returned to some normal activities – but it’s still heavy. You are still processing day in and day out and are still exhausted.

You likely avoid certain social situations at this stage. While some morbid laughter may sneak in, true joy feels like a thing of the past. You thought you’d be all the better by now and are starting to worry that you’ll never again be the happy person you used to be. You wish you could just wave a magic wand and return to your pre-grief naiveté.

You are ripe for this work. I can help you deepen your initiation and find peace right in the heart of your sadness. We can return you to pleasure and build back love for your whole worthy self.

Many clients at this stage set goals to love their bodies again or reconnect with family after all they’ve been through. It is a perfect time for some of the more adventurous work. Women who come to me a year or more out from loss integrate by leaps and bounds.

Some come to me in late-stage grief.

Quote from Anna, a client working with mature grief and making a huge impact in the world: “You have been a complete game changer in my advocacy work. I’m so proud that I’m accomplishing my goals!!!!!!”

In mature grief, you are ready to take your life and purpose to the next level and make meaning of the senseless loss you’ve weathered. I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason, but I will tell you: I have seen women make incredible things out of the crap life handed them.

If you are ready for life’s purpose, you will love this work. Here it gets fun, powerful, and exhilarating. Do you remember how dark and sad it was before? Well, we get to find the other end of that spectrum. At later-stage grief, when you hone your power and stretch your capacity to feel, you’ll be unstoppable.

Let’s make your grief easier.

Whatever your stage of grief, I can help.

Don’t struggle alone. We can work together to help you integrate this loss.

Please get in touch with me at (857) 259-4041.